My feelings this last weekend

I must say, that it was not as enjoyable as I would have liked. For a great post on what how I felt go here and read Molly Piper's post. She is so much more eloquent in her words and thoughts, but she nailed what I was feeling the whole day.

So me, I was grumpy, but hiding how I was feeling. At church when people told me "Happy Mother's Day" it took all I had to say it back and hold back the tears. For me it is a bitter reminder that I don't have all my children in my arms. So many are carefree and don't know or realize that it is not a happy time for everyone. I was a little jealous of a couple of my friends who did not go to church that day. They had other reasons, or maybe the same, but they were able to escape, which is all I wanted to do. I spent my whole morning lying to people when they asked how my Mother's day was going and told them it was fine. For who wants to hear the truth....it sucks and I want to have both my boys here with me.

The title of Molly's post "Do you want to die this Mother's Day?" I have to answer yes and no. Yes, because I long to hold dear Micah again and that will be the only way that I will ever be able to do so. And no, because I know that God still has work for me to do here on Earth and I am not ready to leave Zane or David (even though they both drive me crazy more times than not). But I love both of them deeply and don't want to miss a moment of my time with them.

So yes, this is a little late, but I just could not pull it together to post something earlier.... Happy Mother's Day to ALL mother's....For I believe as soon as you conceive you are a mother. Some of you who read this have had miscarriages, a still born, early infant death, what ever has happened to your baby, you are still a mother, your job is just different. I thank God for all of you and know that I love you and my heart aches with each of you.