I did not come up with it myself, but Kathe Wunnenberg is the one who has come up with it. She is a wonderful, Godly woman who is helping walk me through my healing process in more ways than she will ever know.
- Fill her arms with something to hold. A stuffed animal or pillow with her child's name.
- Initiate communication. "How are you today?"
- Don't say "I know how you feel." (not many say this)
- LISTEN! Even if you've heard it before.
- Use the name of the child.
- When words fail, share silence or a hug.
- Remember Mother's Day, due date or other occasions with a card, note or gift.
- Invest in a cause in the child's name and tell the parents you did it
- Give your presence, patience and prayers.
- Give kleenex, a CD or a book.
These are simple, but truly helpful and make a difference. For those of us that have lost a child, we have to remember to forgive. I know that I have found myself needed to do this more than I realize because people just don't know when something they say has hurt me. Normally it is something very insignificant, but it is painful all the same. Even if it is just putting their name on a piece of paper, saying a prayer and then tearing it up (or as my husband would do BURN IT!)
Thank you for your prayers and support through all this.