Wednesday, August 6, 2008

What can be done

I was reminded that so many people do not know what to do or say to those who have lost a child. Especially one that we never got to know. For lack of better words, it is such an elite and unwanted club and people just don't know what to do or say. After a note from a dear friend, watching the Chapman special and hearing what Mary Beth had to say, and then my continued healing, I feel like this will help give light of what can be done. Also check out the Larry King Live spot, God was glorified!

I did not come up with it myself, but Kathe Wunnenberg is the one who has come up with it. She is a wonderful, Godly woman who is helping walk me through my healing process in more ways than she will ever know.

10 Ways to encourage someone
who has lost an unborn or newly born child
  • Fill her arms with something to hold. A stuffed animal or pillow with her child's name.
  • Initiate communication. "How are you today?"
  • Don't say "I know how you feel." (not many say this)
  • LISTEN! Even if you've heard it before.
  • Use the name of the child.
  • When words fail, share silence or a hug.
  • Remember Mother's Day, due date or other occasions with a card, note or gift.
  • Invest in a cause in the child's name and tell the parents you did it
  • Give your presence, patience and prayers.
  • Give kleenex, a CD or a book.

These are simple, but truly helpful and make a difference. For those of us that have lost a child, we have to remember to forgive. I know that I have found myself needed to do this more than I realize because people just don't know when something they say has hurt me. Normally it is something very insignificant, but it is painful all the same. Even if it is just putting their name on a piece of paper, saying a prayer and then tearing it up (or as my husband would do BURN IT!)

Thank you for your prayers and support through all this.

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