We have just spent the last seven weeks in adoption classes. They have been informative and also given us some guide lines as to what we want and don't want in an adoption. The biggest struggle that I am still having is how open do we want our open adoption to be.
For those who do not know what an open adoption is, let me explain. First, I am very glad that most of today's adoptions are open, because many of the questions and confusions that the adoptees face in the future are not there, for they know about their birth parents and their heritage. There are so many degrees of openness: the birth mother coming to the house and the child knowing her as a family member to emails, pictures and letters once a year. Luckily we don't have to decide today. But it is a huge struggle for me. We are going to have to set the boundaries for a child who we don't know and a woman (hopefully a man also) who we have never met and know nothing about. These are also the guide lines for a very long time. yes they could change but it is hard to put something that significant in writing as a covenant.
Besides the classes being over, we have also been given a case number and the courts are waiting for the paperwork from the homestudy. Which, thankfully is almost complete. On June 16, the day after Father's Day, we are having our final homestudy visit. This will also be the first time that our casework will be meeting Zane. She is excited about meeting him --she is in for a treat. Then on Tues. the 17th we will be presented to the staff at the agency, this includes the pregnancy counselors also. We should have our matchletter completed and ready for the book that day also.
It is now the waiting game. Please pray for the birthmother: for strength of healing and the grief that she will be experiencing. For like us, she will be loosing a child. For the child: health, safety, and God's protection. We do not know the situation the child is in but know that God can protect the child. For us: that God gives us patience and guidance in the whole process. Also how to explain and prepare Zane for a new baby in the house. It was much easier with Micah, because he was able to see Micah growing in my tummy. Here, we will just bring a baby home and it will never leave. We are talking about the process, but it is hard to know how much Zane understands.
I was encouraged by one of the families we heard from last night. The week they turned their paper work in was the same week that their daughter was conceived. They did not expect to have to wait nine months to be placed, but they are so glad that God's plan is not ours. Who know what God's plan is for us, but it WILL be wonderful.
Updates to come!