Drained

Zane and I have made it back from Colorado. Zane was awesome being very patient in the LONG security line and waiting to load the plane. Which he wanted to do so bad. He loved flying and was very good. I must say that having him in the car seat was the best way to fly. He would have been out of the seat belt so quick and wanting to run around if not.

We had a good time visiting family and friends along with meeting some new friends.

First, the reason I went to Colorado in the first place, was to see BF. This visit was needed in more than one way. It was a way for us to finally talk about what has happened to both of us over the last year. For it was one year ago that we last saw each other and so much has happened. When we last saw each other, she had just found out that her son had Potter's Syndrome, where the kidneys do not develop. Without kidneys, no amniotic fluid is produced after 16 weeks, therefore no lung development. Well, on Oct. 25, 2007 her beautiful baby boy was born into the arms of Jesus. Her and her husband were so faithful and such wonderful parents. She talked to me about her birth plan and prepared for the worst, but hoped for the best. Then, on Jan. 12 when I called her to tell her that our babies were playing, just how we had planned when we found out that we were pregnant together, was one of the hardest calls I ever had to make, the first to my husband to tell him that our baby was dead. (We did not know that Micah was a boy, therefore pre birth, baby, post birth Micah). Because of the conversations that BF and I had about her birth plan, I knew what I needed to do. She also helped us in telling us things to do to remember Micah that mean more to me and I cherish so. In fact, I still have the messages on the phone from her. Then in Feb. when I called after a horrible day, she gave me great news, they were expecting. Then at 13 weeks, everything changed. Their baby was not going to make it. Again, on June 18, their second baby boy was born into the arms of Jesus. BF and husband are struggling and asking questions, to which the medical community can not answer the whys. It is frustrating to me, so I can imagine how awful it is to them. She blessed me by taking me to meet her boys, then her, her husband and I went to dinner and had a wonderful conversation, where I was able to see how they truly love each other and support each other. I was then able to go and look at the wonderful pictures of her boys. Even though Ethan, their youngest was only pictured in ultrasounds. David, the oldest, looked exactly like his Daddy. We were also able to look at their wedding pictures. It was great, because I had forgotten how beautiful she was as a bride and how much fun we had. So, BF, if you are reading this, thank you for taking the time to talk with me and show me your healing process, which also has helped me heal just that much more. You are a true friend and example of faith. I love you!

Next, I was able to meet with two other very good friends. Both of whom have been there for me at different times. It was great to just tell them what went on in person instead of via Internet. To introduce them to my dear Micah and to see how they are doing. It is amazing to see how God works all things. M, my friend from college, also knows my BF and works for the same school that BF coaches for. Even though I know it is not needed, for all I have to do is call, M can check in on BF, just in case.

It so happened that God's timing was perfect again, because I was in CO when my friend J, who I have been friends with for 28 years, yes we were 4 when we became friends, just found out she has a form of thyroid cancer. She goes into have her thyroid removed on Sept. 12. So I was able to find out more about what was going on and was comforted in that. Thank you Lord.

I was also able to see some other friends from college, whom I have not seen in about 8 years. Again, it was good to talk about Micah and everything that has happened. Plus, it was good to see how they are doing and meet their little girls, who are beautiful. It was very hard at the same time.

Finally, I was able to meet two very special women. Laura and Corie. Both of whom I met via blogs. Again, God's timing is perfect. All three of us went to Colorado State, and come to find out that Laura and I went to rival high schools, ran cross country at the same time and had some of the same friends in high school. We also discussed, because I had told BF about who I was meeting, that Laura had helped BF through David and Ethan. We also talked about A Walk To Remember. I was able to get registered and my parents are going to walk in memory of Micah. I wish that we were going to be able to be there but Micah will be remember.

We were also able to see my grandparents and my great-grandparents (Zane's GREAT-GREAT GRANDPARENTS). This was lots of fun, and more enjoyable than the last time I saw Meme. My mom and I took Zane to the Zoo, which he loved the snakes, and he helped his Papa mow the lawn. Here are some of my favorite pictures of the trip. Thank you for letting me write and follow some of my thoughts.

Zane and the Snakes

This snake was right by the glass and Zane tried to "pet it" and it followed his hand.The next two are very sentimental, for I have pictures of myself in the same places. Can't wait to find the picturesMowing with PapaGreat Great GrandpaGreat Great GrandmaMeme and Pa